Field Notes, #26, June(july)
Some parts of some poems, some drawings, some questions, a story.
...Somewhere
I am a she now
watching her,
and there is some incredible deal
at Target
for a scooby doo futon.
She is searching/
searching/searching/
Target
but it is miles long.
She dreams of
a 49 foot angel
that can not
remember how to pray
and drowns the whole world
with its tears,
She dreams that her father
is in a boat
and her mother is
in the boat too,
but her mother is dead,
so when they invite her to climb in
she says to the mother
you can’t be here for real/you must not be here for real
and the mother leaves,
but then the father says
it’s weird you care about
what makes sense
all of a sudden,
A horse,
A horse then gives birth.
X
-...
-okay, I’m ready now
-...
-I’m ready to begin the effort of my life.
I’ve done everything necessary to clear way.
My brain is all ordered and the timing is
perfect. Yes, let’s start now.
-...
-I’m so excited I can’t wait!
3…2…1…
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetell the truth: if you were held up by your ankles, and all the saliva dripped out of your mouth into my mouth, and that was my only form of hydration, would you agree to stay that way forever, like a human hamster water bottle? Would you do that for me? Or do you not really care to? tell the truth: isn’t it just so much better when there is something sad that happened to someone before, that they can reveal to you, ? Ah yes, there it is, that automatic binding glue, paste yourself to me. tell the truth: some little worm told me that you knew the whole time about that thing that would come up later on, it’s true right, it must be, I have one of those as well, the thing that comes up later on, ... but it’s so different, ... coming from you. tell the truth: you would give in and tell me That I am not actually good, if I really really kept asking, right?
hi. Thank you for coming to this email place with me, i appreciate it. i hope you don't regret a thing (about coming here)- other things you should regret, and then move forward from. consider sharing with a friend, or your boss, you can submit this instead of the paperwork you feed into the machine at the mail room. I wonder if you actually read this. My aunt very kindly reminded me that most people probably do not- but she does. I told her I'm not sure if I want her to, but she says I can't stop her. Something I tried to do was record myself reading one of my short stories, I found it really embarrassing. I thought maybe you would like to listen to a story while you lay in bed or cook something. I am embarrassed by this, by the sound of my voice. But I am going to do it anyway. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe you may like this story. Who knows, you will know maybe. Here it is. It's called Aquarium. I mispronounced the name of a jellyfish in the recording. I also should have drank more water prior to the recording. Oh... well. I recorded a better one after this one but decided to just go with the one where I trip over my words a few times.
HOMEWORK: I've been watching a lot of music videos lately, such an amazing pass time. It's such a strange world in there, you should take some time to put music vidoes on in the morning or night and watch several in a row. You will not be graded, you do not have to turn this in. Notice something across a few different ones, make a chart. For instance, 2000s music videos have a high ratio of car crashes and time distortion. Perhaps venn diagram something or make a bar graph. goodbye ps - only just now i have realized it’s not june . but i did write this mostly in june. so it’s both.